American History, According to Ron Paul, Sort Of

America was founded in 1776 by August von Mises. He was upset because the British were violating free market principles with their stamp and tea taxes. After he led America to victory in the Revolution, he sat down to write the Constitution. In it, he was very clear that he did not want the new government to do anything but sit back and enforce contracts between private parties. Take a look at Article I, Section 8, Paragraph One: “The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts, and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States…” This is clear proof that the founders wanted the government to stay out of everything and allow private corporations to handle the country.

The next 73 years or so were a golden age in American free market capitalist history. Americans were moving out west onto land that Native Americans foolishly considered their hunting grounds. Too bad for them that the free market was dictating that the land now had to be owned and farmed by white Americans. If they spent more time reading the internet instead of practicing their ancestral ways, they would have realized that the free market is natural and their big government style of family-centered, nomadic clans was doomed. Americans were allowed to spread their small government, free enterprise heritage by farming land they received from the government after being won in wars declared by the government or purchased by tax money given to other nations by the government. Heroes like Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin and introduced interchangeable parts without any government help except for all that land and protection previously mentioned. Oh yeah, he also received federal government dollars for the rifles he had made out of interchangeable parts. Other than that, he was completely self-reliant like all of us should be today.

It is true that some Americans owned slaves. After all, there was a market for slaves and what place did the government have in telling people the kind of property they can own? We have already seen that the country was following free market principles at the time and the government was just hanging back and enforcing contracts. Instead, we allowed the states the deal with the slavery issue and we all know how well that turned out. Slavery built the cotton wealth of the American south. Plantations would produce cotton and ship them off to the north or Britain. It was a perfect example of free market America. These plantation owners made it all on their own without the help of anyone besides their legions of human property over whom they assumed they were racially and morally superior. They shipped their products to market totally on their own aside from all the government-built canals, turnpikes and roads made possible by the two central banks that were established in this period. Aside from their slaves and government-built infrastructure, these southern gentlemen were true Horatio Alger stories.

In this period we had five Founding Fathers as presidents. Between them we established two central banks, built the beginnings of our infrastructure, fought imperialist wars and introduced new forms of taxation. You can see from here that us libertarians are the true heirs to the Founding Fathers’ tradition. But then 1860 came and Lincoln was elected. He had no experience aside from organizing some rail-splitters in Illinois and donating money to ACORN. Lincoln threatened to end slavery, even though there was a healthy market for slaves in the economy. He was interested in nothing more than breaking the entrepreneurial and self-reliant spirit of the noble plantation owners. His big-government socialist ways caused the southerners to secede from the union. Nothing represents Lincoln’s socialist agenda better than the peroration from his first inaugural address, which sounds more like the Port Huron Statement than anything a real American would say: “We should not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it should not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.” It is clear from this speech that Lincoln’s plan was to sell out the country to Zionist bankers. We may have lost the war but that does not mean America lost the entrepreneurial spirit that Lincoln tried to crush. We were ready to embark on another great age of rugged individualism.

It was up to the American people to rebuild what Lincoln tried to destroy. Railroads started to criss-cross the continent because that is what the free market demanded. By free market, we of course mean the Pacific Railroad Act where Congress mandated the creation of a transcontinental railroad. Railroad entrepreneurs like Jay Gould received free government land out west on which to build rail lines. Because of the commerce these rails would provide to otherwise isolated areas, the land they were built on became populated which raised its value 400 percent in some cases. It is clear from this that Jay Gould and the railroad corporations were totally free entities with no government help at all. They pulled themselves up by their bootstraps, unlike Americans today who always expect a government handout. Industries related to the railroads like steel, oil and even cattle started booming. This was the age of the robber barons. Andrew Carnegie and John D. Rockefeller were rugged individualists who employed hundreds of thousands of people at rock bottom salaries. There was no social security or pensions to pay into, so they got the fabulous wealth they deserved. They would become some of the first millionaires in the United States. The legions of overworked, underpaid workers were just too stupid to run a business themselves. There was no way they would ever succeed in a free market system. Their low wages had little to do with the open immigration policy of the federal government that was lobbied for by the robber barons. Nor did their low wages have anything to do with using federal law, court injunctions and the state’s military power to break strikes. That was just the government stepping in to ensure the free market did not fulfill the wishes of working people.

Historians call this period a Gilded Age but we here at the Ron Paul institute call it a Golden Age. Aside from corporate welfare, favorable regulation and the use of the state’s military power, the government had absolutely no role in the economy. Presidents like Theodore Roosevelt made attempts to stick his nose in the business of the private sector but we made sure they were undone later by Taft. Then Woodrow Wilson became president and Congress passed the Federal Reserve Act, the darkest day in history since the election of Lincoln. This was when we handed over the country to Zionist bankers who used fake American money to fund a campaign for a Jewish homeland. World War I came around and, once again, the government stuck to its free market principles by joining the fight because corporations knew it would be good for their profits.  People like J.P. Morgan made a killing during the war and with all that money they were able to influence the next three Republican presidents, all of whom were heroes for their recognition that America was a free market country that should handcuff government’s ability to interfere with the economy. The wealth gap between rich and poor grew; a sure sign that nature was taking its course and separating the wheat from the chaff. Bankers were allowed to speculate on the stock market. It was a wonderful time for everyone.

But then the stock market crashed. People might think the crash was due to the lack of government oversight in the economy. In reality, it was the Federal Reserve’s fault. They kept interest rates low, which forced these poor bankers to speculate in the stock market. I mean, if the federal government is going to hand you free money, what choice will you have but to gamble with it? Rather than listen to reason, the country elected Franklin Roosevelt who pretty much was the worst human being to ever walk the planet. Instead of waiting another four years for the Hoover tax cuts to work, FDR just used the power of the government to hack away at our entrepreneurial spirit. He did things like prevent banks from gambling with deposits, instituted a minimum wage and created social security. FDR was the biggest tyrant since Lincoln. He was a radical socialist who took us away from our tradition of government non-interference with the economy, a tradition that we have proven in this paper. Ever since that point, we have been a rotten socialist country, worse than Stalin’s Soviet Union.

FDR raised taxes to over 90 percent on the wealthiest Americans. In that time, we won World War II, built the highway system and had the biggest, most sustained economic growth in our history between 1945 and 1973. Things like collective bargaining, the GI Bill and, later, Medicare and Medicaid helped sustain a middle class with some sort of wealth parity. We also expanded rights of accused people, ended segregation and expanded opportunities for women. It was truly the most awful time in our history. The government was everywhere telling businesses how much to pay its workers, what kind of products to produce and who they can segregate at their lunch counters. A small part of the American dream was expanding thanks to socialist government, not through the free market as Mises called for in the Constitution. Instead of shooting picketing workers like the free market dictates, the government was giving them some protection. There were some rays of hope during this time, like when Barry Goldwater ran for president in 1964. But the country was too stupid to support a visionary like him who wanted to get rid of the Civil Right Act, and so we got 4 more years of Lyndon Johnson.

Since then we have been trying to find our way back to our free market heritage. Both parties have been infected with the post-FDR disease of big government. Ron Paul is the only candidate who knows the Constitution or America. If you support him, you support freedom and liberty. We have a very logical vision: for the government to not have any power and allow all of the corporations who have gotten fat off of government welfare over the past centuries to do whatever they want to whomever they want. Our Founding Fathers loved corporations even though they did not yet exist. I know one thing: August von Mises was brilliant. Ron Paul is a doctor, did you know that? We mention that every time we discuss Ron Paul’s economic ideas. It sounds better to say “Dr. Paul”, because we all know that an obstetrician who disbelieves in evolution has to be an expert in the science of economics. Ron Paul is an independent thinker, even though he is a Texas Republican in office for nearly two decades. He is not business as usual. We may have never read a real history book or the Constitution but we know that Ron Paul is right about American history, government and economics. “Doctor Paul for President”

20 responses to “American History, According to Ron Paul, Sort Of

  1. A very cheery secular season’s greetings to you, and thank you for a LOLacious essay!

  2. Yes! If we just leave the Market alone to work it’s magic the state will wither away and we’ll have a utopia…Wait, I’ve heard that somewhere else. Who said that? Oh. Nevermind.

  3. USA / UK did not win World War 11 such won by the TOBACCO
    COMPANIES. / They having used the war as a cover to flood the
    USA as UK with TOBACCO. A massive advertizing campaign was
    put in place that promoted TOBACCO AND ITS ADDED HIGHLY
    ADDICTIVE ADDED CHEMICALS. Movies that were nought but
    the promotion of TOBACCO / dying soldiers had a cigarette put
    in their mouths / such portrayed as a act of kindness. With such
    advertizing by wars end more than 50% of the adult polulation of
    USA & UK addicted to TOBACCO / its added addictive chemicals.

    The profits for TOBACCO COMPANIES yearly amounting to many
    $millions of which they funded political parties in turn such political
    parties turning a blind eye to the death as suffering of their own /
    thus it took many decades just to bring into law that public places
    should be free of TOBACCO SMOKE its grave danger unto others.

    Not long after the (a few years) through TOBACCO addiction the
    people started turning illl as dying in thousands // the UK govt in
    response created A NHS national health service. Thus the british
    people taxed to fund the cost in dealing with victims of TOBACCO.
    Whom won the war ( the Tobacco companies) they have gone on
    to kill far more than ever killed by bomb or bullet. With the funding
    of political parties / political parties in turn in having turned a blind
    eye unto the the greater deaths such suffering of ther own people.

    Such all down to the free market / the original aim of govt was its
    being a servant to the people representing a voice of the people.

    Through time / growing political corruption / the situation in having
    reversed itself /where its the people whom now the servant of govt.

    The present plight of american people / corrupt govt (in main) that
    of republican having through lust of world power as wealth / having
    stripped the peoples of all their basic rights // in having abandoned
    international law / as being lost in the madness of world domination.

    The present situation the people’s try to regain sanity // and return
    just govt // while those blinded by wealth power turn upon their own.

    There must be a meeting of minds where common sense is brought
    to the fore // at present humanity is on course for a nuclear conflict.

    The ultimate aim of the universe of the human form was in bringing
    via heart / brain // a growth in understanding as of erxperience thus
    achieving Spiritual Enlightenment /the aim never human destruction.

    Thus it for the people of all nations in coming to their senses / THAT
    humanities true objective realized / in “Spiritual Enlightenment”. xxxx.

  4. lol this is hilarious! Great job!

  5. LOL. This is the best thing I have seen written about Ron Paul. Heaven help us all if that kook gets anywhere near the White House.

  6. A great scholarly article that captures the true spirit of America. I now know that all the other nonsense I’ve heard and read is socialist propaganda. Thank you assailedteacher! Thank you Dr Ron Paul!

  7. Ron Paul no different from most other Americans? That’s why we don’t elect most other Americans. We should hold our leaders to higher standards, perhaps even the higher standards we ourselves aspire to. No, we’ve never fully lived up to the lofty standards of the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights. But that’s not reason to give up and vote for Ron Paul. It’s reason to strive for better.

  8. This made me grin from ear to ear, until I realized that this man is widely supported by younger Americans who only hear “legalize drugs” and ignore the rest. His racism, misogyny, homophobia, and outright lunacy should be called out at every opportunity.

  9. Your grammar was a bit off at times, my friend.

    • bastards, how dare they insult gogloeI am a transhumanist googlist singularitarian, man-machine and open source software. Puny fleshy body’s have very little energy, we will leave them to you’re brothers and sisters war machines, religion and capitalism, they do a fine job at sucking human life energy.

  10. I loved your entertaining and pointed satire.

  11. Haha very clever. Colbert would be proud!

  12. Haha I’m very glad you wrote this! Ron Paul truly is a dangerous candidate. His foreign policy credentials are atrocious, and I’m sure he would severely damage the economy if he were to continue his attacks on the Federal Reserve as president. Reminds me of Andrew Jackson’s fight against Bank of US…

    • “he would severely damage the economy”

      In that sense Paul would just continue the work of Bush and Obama, right? But keep in mind that both ran their campaign with policy proposals opposite to what they actually did in office. Bush talked about small government, Obama about anti-war politics. Both have changed opinion once they entered the Oval Office. “Freedom must look very different from inside the White House than from outside.”


  13. In regards to your mention of Abraham lincoln disturbing the flow of capitalism in the southern region of the union. I would like to think of Lincoln as a visionary who saw that the world was moving toward a more industrialist setting hence slavery would no longer be profitable if it only included people of one ethnicity . Lincoln saw that a real capitalist society should be inclusive of all people. All of America would be given the opportunity to participate in this system by either being blind consumers or brilliant investors. This is real capitalism, since the regulation or variable to participate should not be base on the color of your skin, but your capacity to be an innovator. This I think goes well with your mention of FDR being a socialist.
    I would love to say aspects of the welfare state which habors an attitude of laziness is ideal for capitalistic societies.. Capitalism strive on the creativity of the knowledgable as well as the ignorance and vulnerability of the masses.

    • I generally agree. My mentions of Lincoln were of course farcical and satire. However, Lincoln only arrived at the idea of black equality towards the end of his life. At first, we was completely willing to keep slavery if it would save the union. As more and more blacks fought and died for the cause of the Union, he saw that he could not shut them out of the promise of the new country that would take shape after the war.

      For FDR, he only radically reformed the system because radical protests in the streets were urging some sort of bold action. If he had not done so, we might have had some type of violent upheaval, weather fascist or socialist. This was what was happening in other nations at the time.

  14. others might argue FDR WAS the socialist/ fascist upheaval. or our version of it.

  15. Pingback: Ron Paul: American Hero | assailedteacher

  16. Pingback: Racism, Racism Everywhere | Assailed Teacher

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