We all know the hagiography written about Michelle Rhee called The Bee Eater.
This inspired me with some more Rhee book ideas that, in my humble opinion, should be explored. Here are just some of the Rhee books that have yet to be published. Together, I think they capture the real Rhee experience.
The Rhee Cheater
A young Adrian Fenty wins his mayoral race in D.C. by promising to improve the school system. Who better to run his school system than a Teach for America nooblet who never ran an organization in her life? Unfortunately, things go sour when all of the dramatic gains in test scores turned out to be the result of widespread cheating woven into the system Rhee put in place. The cost? Thousands of teacher jobs, millions of children’s futures and one bonehead mayor’s political career.
This is a story about a boy in one of Ms. Rhee’s classes named Peter. One day he was making too much noise on his way to the lunchroom, so Ms. Rhee duct taped his mouth shut. Traumatized by the experience, Peter was left back. Meanwhile, Rhee got a promotion as the chancellor of D.C.’s schools. This is not quite the feel-good story Dangerous Minds was, but it has its moments. Instead, it is more like Misery by Stephen King.
THE MONEY RHEEPER
This is similar to the Bee Eater in that it discusses many important Michelle Rhee reforms. The difference is this book shows for whom she does the reforming. Read the stories about how Michelle Rhee will do and say anything for money and the billionaires that have it. Read how she is bent on turning schools into memorization factories and teachers into fast food workers all to satisfy anyone with deep pockets who stands to profit from all of her reforms. This book will show you who put the $ in StudentsFirst.
MY HUSBAND, THE PEDOPHILE
Ok, so I cheated here. Let’s see you come up with a Rhee-tastic title for this one. My Husband, The Pedophile details the romantic courtship of Michelle Rhee and former NBA star (and unrepentant pedophile) Kevin Johnson. Michelle Rhee did what anyone who puts “StudentsFirst” would do. She helped a pedophile who took advantage of his position as a school leader to cover up his disgusting acts. Usually, people like Kevin Johnson go to prison to be ritually beaten and shanked by the other inmates. But, thanks in part to Michelle Rhee, not only did KJ get off scot-free but he got a wife out of the whole deal. Read how KJ scarred several children for life and how Michelle Rhee found this irresistible. It is a match made in heaven. Both KJ and MR put students first in their own ways.
Seriously, how are these books not best-sellers yet?