This is as good a time as any to make a comeback. There are too many things happening in the world of education, both here in New York City and around the nation, to remain on the sidelines much longer. Doubtless there will be time enough in the coming months and years to discuss all of these developments. For now, it might be worth it for me to get somewhat personal to let you know why I have been away for so long and what has been happening on my end. I did not say goodbye the last time, so maybe now I can give a proper hello, again.
You might recall that I moved out of Manhattan into Astoria in Queens over the past year. This was due to the passing of my mother and the fact that the real estate managers did not allow me to inherit her apartment. They were none too polite about it either. While I figured that I had grounds to fight them on this issue, I did not have the stomach to do so. Instead, I cut and run in hopes of making a fresh start of things. I love the neighborhood here in Astoria for its diversity, affordability and proximity to Manhattan (and, therefore, to work). Getting this place in this neighborhood for this price helped me bounce back after my mother’s passing, although I do not think anyone fully recovers from losing a beloved parent.
In the tribute I wrote to my mother last year, you might recall that I mentioned an older brother I had never met named Tommy. He was my mother’s first born and he was taken away from her at an early age. She would spend the rest of her life talking about him and missing him. Well, this past spring I received a message on Facebook from one of those accounts with a fake name, no picture and no personal information, the type that is usually used as a secondary account. This person said that they knew I had an older brother named Tommy and knew how to get in contact with him. I wasted no time in asking this person for Tommy’s contact info. I called Tommy on a Sunday and we spoke for a few hours. A month later he came up here from Florida for a weekend visit. This past summer I went down to the Tampa area to see Tommy, my sister-in-law, my niece and my nephew. We spent a week and a half trying to make up for a lifetime.
If only I had received that Facebook message two years earlier, perhaps meeting her son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren would have given our mother more reason to hold on just a little longer. Every day I was down there I imagined our mother was there with us, happy to be with her two sons and big family in the warm Florida sun. While I have shed many tears over what could have been, I am happy that fate saw fit to provide me with a family when I thought I had none left. The fact that I have somewhere to go during the holidays and a niece and a nephew to spoil has given me a newfound happiness. If Florida was not such a red state with awful teacher salaries and no job security, I would have moved down there months ago.
All of this is to say that I did not realize how unhappy I truly was until I spoke to my brother for the first time. This was around the time I disappeared from blogging. I realized I was using this website as a way to throw myself into something so as to forget my depression. While that is not necessarily a bad thing in most cases, it is not the ideal situation for a blog that purports to touch on vital public issues which need a rational and dispassionate (as much as possible anyway) treatment. Also, my own obsession with the written word was keeping me up until 2 am on most nights, which left me a four hour of window for sleep. It was getting tougher to get up in the morning, to get into work on time and to be on top of my game when I was there. Fueled by black coffee and cigarettes, I became overly testy and wound as tightly as a modern baseball. Something needed to give and this blog, which I love because of the people who come here to read and comment, was collateral damage.
On the bright side, stepping away from this site followed by an agreeable summer vacation helped me gain my footing again. I feel self-possessed enough to jump back into the fray, which means maintaining this blog and returning to union activism.
Anyway, I hope everyone is having a good start to the school year. For those of us in New York City, this entails reckoning with the new evaluation system. For educators around the country, it means another year dealing with the forces of education deform who show no signs of abating. Common Core is on the horizon for New York and other states as well. All of this combined with the prospect of a new mayor here in New York City makes this an interesting, if not a happy, time to be associated with public education.